he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
