Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
