absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
