Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just want nice things and good sex
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
