with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize