just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
