idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am spending my child support on dildos
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This toilet bowl is my home.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize