he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize