so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
