how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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