Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize