oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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