gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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