Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize