Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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