we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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