Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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