I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
