Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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