Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
