this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
