I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize