grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
