My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
