No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
do herpes really smell.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
