I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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