Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
