covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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