brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
