Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
