i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
