I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
