I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
40s are totally the cure
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
