no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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