...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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