member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
