i think i have herpe
just one?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
