is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
