Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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