I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
