No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
