so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
