Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
