he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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