She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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