I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
