12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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