the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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