i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize