I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize