So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
