are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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