Pants 0. Shit 1.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
