you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I deserve this hangover.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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