I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
