She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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