maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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