He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
